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July 18, 2012
 

95-Year-Old Tells Sheriff Joe: Obama’s Birth Certificate is Fake

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Written by: Kelly Virella
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Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona speaking at the Tea Party Patriots American Policy Summit in Phoenix, Arizona. Photo courtesy of Flickr/Gage Skidmore

Q

uick: what’s the best way to find out whether President Obama’s birth certificate is real? Ask a 95-year-old man, of course. And not just any 95-year-old man, one who can read the special codes on birth certificates, a birth certificate whisperer.

Using tax-payer money, Sheriff Joe Arpaio sent a delegation to Hawaii for a mission critical meeting with this unnamed birth certificate whisperer, who also claims he signed Obama’s birth certificate.

You see, according to the old man, there’s two ways of reading a Hawaiian birth certificate: you can read the writing in each field, or you can read the code, which should exactly match the writing. The problem with Obama’s birth certificate, the old man said, is that there’s a mismatch between the code and the writing in two of the fields — the race of Obama’s father and his field of study or line of work. When the old man spoke to Obama’s birth certificate, the code said those fields should be blank. But on Obama’s birth certificate, they are — gasp — filled in.

Why did no one think of this foolproof test before? It’s probably because when officials from the state of Hawaii heard about it, they scratched their heads and said “huh?”

According to Politico, an official there — Joshua A. Wisch, a special assistant to Hawaii’s attorney general — released a statement saying: “President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid.”  The statement added: “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed and misconstrue Hawaii law.”

Sheriff Arpaio was undeterred by Hawaii’s pesky facts. He called a press conference declaring that the birth certificate is definitely fraudulent. If you are unconvinced, just wait. Arpaio’s next trick will be a meeting with a clairvoyant who is capable of finding and reading Obama’s ‘real’ birth certificate without physically seeing it.

 

 



About the Author

Kelly Virella
Kelly Virella lives in an East Harlem walk-up with her husband, her bicycle and her books. She's worked as a journalist for 11 years and started this website during the summer of 2011. She fell in love with New York City during her first visit here as a 16-year-old and finally made good on her promise to move here in April 2010.



 
 

 
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