Caricature of Rick Perry, Republican Presidential Primary Candidate 2012, by Donkey Hotey

DISCLAIMER: The following is a satirical presentation. The events contained within are a figment of the writer’s imagination. Any relations to actual Texas news stations are co-incidental.

OP Presidential runner Rick Perry is riding a fast wave to the White House. With recent opinion polls showing him well ahead of Mitt Romney and Michelle Bachmann, the 11-term Texas governor is primed to bring the Republican Party back to prominence.

In an effort to garner the support of his state’s African-American community — with which he has had troubled relations — Perry sat down with NegroNewsTX to discuss his run and why African-Americans should be in his corner.

NegroNewsTX: Many African-Americans have questioned your decision to step into the 2012 race, citing your track record on unemployment and Texas’ dismal hourly average wage.

Rick Perry: I can understand the anger flowing from African-Americans here. After all, they’ve been out of work longer. They also have to deal with ‘questionable’ role models such as these dirtbag rappers who sing about “whores” and “bling-bling.” But answering your statement, I’d like to point out the fact that during my tenure as governor, the Lone Star State has created over 1 million jobs for its residents. And unlike the president, I don’t lie.

NegroNewsTX: So do you believe President Obama is a liar?

Rick Perry: Yes. Who’s that guy who said ‘you lie!’ to him? I say give him a medal for having something our president doesn’t have: a set of balls. Hell, his wife is practically Angela Davis 2.0. She probably holds them in her purse.”

NegroNewsTX: So you’re saying Michelle Obama is emasculating the president?

Rick Perry: Just look at her toned arms and legs. She’s like Serena Williams on steroids.

NegroNewsTX: Your recent ‘big, black cloud’ comments were misquoted by ABC News and MSNBC.  How did you feel about that?

Rick Perry: Honestly I wasn’t surprised. MSNBC is the same station that hired that liberal nutcase Keith Olbermann. And ABC News, with George Stephanopoulos,” is in the same boat. Contrary to what the left may think about me, I’m not a racist. I have black friends.

NegroNewsTX: Governor Perry, some people say you sound naive about race when you make statements like “I have black friends.” What do you say to that?

Rick Perry: Naive about race? I know black people. They worked for my family as maids and servants for years. I know as much about ‘em as Obama.

NegroNewsTX: Why should African-Americans vote for Rick Perry?

Rick Perry: I’m someone who has his finger on the people’s pulse. I’m working on a plan to desegregate Texas’ public schools so that Martin Luther King can finally realize his dream from the grave. Lastly, my party freed blacks from slavery and gave them chances. Some say, well Rick that was 150-years-ago. I say, ‘You gotta start somewhere.’

DISCLAIMER: The following is a satirical presentation. The events contained within are a figment of the writer’s imagination. Any relations to actual Texas news stations are co-incidental.